{"id":322,"date":"2010-11-24T11:31:31","date_gmt":"2010-11-24T15:31:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.finaljourneyseminars.com\/?page_id=322"},"modified":"2010-11-24T11:40:53","modified_gmt":"2010-11-24T15:40:53","slug":"the-journey-for-the-later-years-part-ii","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/www.finaljourneyseminars.com\/?page_id=322","title":{"rendered":"The Journey For The Later Years – part II"},"content":{"rendered":"

\ufeffby Lori Myers<\/p>\n

This is Part II of a series that informs about the realities of living old in this country – a country where families may be spread out over thousands of miles, where healthcare might be administered in one\u2019s own home or elsewhere by strangers, where costs of healthcare and home aides keep rising at an alarming rate.<\/p>\n

Part I told the story of Mike Moser whose father, a highly regarded orthopedic surgeon, began to experience memory loss. When told by Moser and his siblings that he needed to retire from his medical practice, their father became defiant and angry.<\/p>\n

Moser made certain that his parents had long-term health insurance, a welcome safeguard that would prevent the family from having to make difficult decisions regarding the selling or redistribution of investments, and a means that would make sure the healthy spouse would have enough money for day-to-day living. But as it turned out, they never had to use it…<\/p>\n

* * *<\/p>\n

There was no way for Moser to avoid it any longer. His father\u2019s condition had progressed to the point where it would be too dangerous for him to perform surgery – an opinion shared by a former partner in the medical practice and some friends. It was up to Moser to sit his father down and tell him. It was a task that Moser dreaded. Around his parents he was always the kid. But now the tables were turned. The son would be the one giving advice to the father instead of the other way around.<\/p>\n

\u201cI was crying,\u201d admits Moser. \u201cI didn\u2019t feel like a son anymore. I felt like the bad guy. I had to help them understand what the situation was and what to do.\u201d<\/p>\n

Moser brought up two matters with his father. One was for him to retire before he endangered his patients. The second was to move his parents from their small New England town to San Diego where Moser lived. This was not the first time Moser had \"pic\"brought up the subject of having them move across the country.<\/p>\n

\u201cI had always encouraged them to come out here because my mother had leg and ankle problems,\u201d Moser says.<\/p>\n

Through the help of a realtor, Moser found some homes for his parents to look at, but soon realized that they couldn\u2019t live on their own. After apologizing to the realtor, Moser switched his search from single-family homes to continuing care retirement communities. He and his parents whittled their choices down to three facilities. One place had a two-year waiting list after which his parents would have to take a physical exam and have to qualify. That wouldn\u2019t seem likely based on his parents\u2019 declining health. The second community was building new units, which wouldn\u2019t be move-in ready until two years later. But the difference between this community and the first one the family looked at was that the health exam could be taken now without a re-test.
\n\u201cThe salesperson there had a father with the same disease as mine,\u201d recalls Moser. \u201cMy mother was able to pick the unit they wanted and they put $2,500 down. Two months later they had to put down an additional 20 percent.\u201d<\/p>\n

Taking Care<\/strong><\/h2>\n

Moser made sure his siblings – a brother in Maryland, and a sister in San Francisco – were kept updated on all the activities and decisions regarding their parents. He did the right thing, according to Sara Krueger, spokeswoman for Sunrise Senior Living that operates more than 440 senior living communities throughout the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom, and Germany.<\/p>\n

\u201cAny decision about senior living, whether it\u2019s a senior thinking about moving, or an adult child considering help for a parent, should include communication with the entire family,\u201d Krueger explains. \u201cKnowing how to recognize the right time for these types of decisions comes down to the kind of living arrangement that is needed. Some seniors choose to stay at home. Others require some kind of specific care. While others consider senior living solely on their changing lifestyle, such as escaping the upkeep of a house, or being with others who have similar interests.\u201d<\/p>\n

Krueger says that many times, people make the choice about living arrangements after an event such as a fall, stroke or when the family is concerned about safety, as was the case with Moser and his parents. It would have been better, she advises, for the senior to benefit from some sort of assisted living prior to the event. Some \"quote\"residents have excellent health when they enter assisted living, allowing them to enjoy the social and service benefits available there.<\/p>\n

\u201cCertain states have rules that prohibit individuals with certain medical conditions from living in assisted living,\u201d she says. \u201cIt\u2019s important for consumers to begin exploring senior living options well before they\u2019re needed, which provides the opportunity to visit several communities on more than one occasion.\u201d<\/p>\n

The transition from one\u2019s home to an assisted living facility, which sometimes might be in an unfamiliar locale but close to a family member, can be difficult, but it can also be a positive one if it is a good match for the individual. A senior\u2019s needs, both emotionally and physically, as well as their expectations, need to be considered when choosing assisted living.<\/p>\n

With that said, consumers need to ask a myriad of questions before considering if the facility if right for them or their family member. According to Krueger, the following are some questions that should be asked:<\/p>\n